One thing I realized after moving to Europe and more specifically to Vienna, is that what really motivated each one of us to leave our home country was not only the individual drive to search for greener pastures for our future but also the great love we have for our families. In the sense that we would do pretty much anything to uplift the livelihood of those we love.
Most of us get to their chosen country and experience a lot of exciting things. Everyone we know is very curious about us and they send us un-endless messages. Some call every now and then just to check on us. But most of these people call to confirm if it is indeed true that we traveled. I won’t forget those who start asking how you made it to get out of the country because they also want to leave. There is nothing wrong with that.
We gain back so many friends . People who never talked to us before start showing a lot of interest. Some are proud of us and others only want to be associated with us only for the reason that we are abroad.
Days turn into months and before the years kick in, the opportunists start unveiling their true colors. Just because you are abroad someone creates a millionaire image of you. They don’t even care whether you are a student on scholarship or not. They think you bath in money. Incase of a problem back home, they think you are their solution.
We become the”money problem solvers.”
People have got to start killing this assumption that a white mans land is where money really is. True, the opportunities abroad might be more than those back home. The hustle is still the same. If you grind well back home you are or might actually better of than that person abroad. There are as many problems here as there are back at home. Roger that!
You loved ones back at home should be grateful of not having to chase visas, papers and racists who want us out of the country. That is a real nightmare for so many people who moved and are living abroad. Watching your back every now and then trying to keep it together and have a normal life could break someone so bad. But we know better and choose hope to die last.
While we are up and down trying to make ends meet what are our loved ones thinking about us back at home? I have listened to many friends and acquaintances talk of how their families only know how to receive. No one ever calls to just check on them. The only time they make contact is when they need money. Once they get it, silent mode activates. No thank you. Nothing at all. I call that disrespectful.
Mind you, you just received a handsome amount of money and taking a cent from it to buy credit and call back of flash back to appreciate is too much for you. Ungrateful people! Well we still love you and we are too drunk in love that we do it again and again. We send and call back to ask whether you received.
The next time we hear from you is when there is a harambee/fund-raising we need to help contribute to. Better yet, someone is sick or someone is dead or you are sick or you need to buy this and that or you need to pay a debt and the list of creativity is endless.
A lot of people in the diaspora could use some love from their families and friends back home. Some real love for that matter. Reciprocate the love we show and the effort we make to make you happy. Otherwise we get depressed and even question whether we want to come back home to you. Sometimes we just want to hear it. That you love us and appreciate what we do. Just try make one single phone call. Write a message. Poke someone. Wish someone a happy birthday. Little things that do not cost much.
What really prompted me to write this truth is not only do I resonate with it to a certain degree but also because I have listened to many of my friends and acquaintances talk about such stories. Many heartbreaking stories. Seeing them talk about this issue is saddening. I get bitter about all the expectations required of us, while you don’t think we expect anything from you. Well the only difference between our expectations is (yours to ours is non-material.)
I don’t know whether I made any sense on this article but I will just say this…People in the diaspora continue loving your loved ones and never tire to be there for them but also be wise in all your actions. Do not be deceived. Y’all loved ones back home show us some love and appreciation. There is too much platform that technology has offered us. Use it! Check on us like we matter and you don’t want to lose us.
Let me also personally say this to my friends who keep asking me for money now and then as if it was their goddamn right, shame on you. You ask so unnecessarily and shamelessly and it leaves me wondering what is wrong with you? If I had so much I swear you wouldn’t even have to ask. I’m a student hustling to maintain my independence. So please I’m sorry but I’m not Sorry. I have love for you but don’t get on my nerves. Money will sadly be the end of us.
The few who indeed do check on us we love you right back. You give us strength to move through the hurricanes. Don’t give up that spirit.
PS: share your stories and thoughts regarding this matter below. Dankeschön